March 23rd, 2010


Dr. Panda, Associate Dean of Admissions

My cat Panda made another cameo appearance in my dreams last night. He always plays a tiny role in a sprawling, complicated story but I am so amused to encounter him there, he is all I remember of the dream. He is usually human-sized, wears clothing and speaks English, and let me tell you, he is a quipster.

Last night’s dream had something to do with an attempt to order an unfamiliar fancy coffee drink that went horribly awry (note to self: do not watch three episodes of Breaking Bad immediately before bedtime) resulting in my being chased through the halls of a shadowy old hotel. There was a TON of detail in this dream, but the only part I really remember is this:

One doorway on the dark, cobwebby hallway stood open and spilled light onto my path, so I cautiously approached to see what was inside. There sat Panda, wearing a dark blue suit and skinny tie, and sporting a pencil-thin mustache. He looked like a giant feline John Waters. The desk was piled high with files and papers spilling from various in-baskets and piles, and Panda was involved in a heated discussion on the phone. Something about back end profits. He held the phone between his ear and shoulder while rubbing his eyes with one hand and tapping ash off his cigarette with the other. On the corner of his desk, a clackety old movie projector unspooled yards of film I could not see.

The sign on the wall behind him read Handsome Bear Modeling School and the engraved brass nameplate on the desk identified Dr Panda as the Associate Dean of Admissions.

I had the distinct impression that the Handsome Bear Modeling School is merely a front for something even more sketchy. But Panda ain’t sayin’.

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